"I must say, some days are harder then others. Tonight my heart feels shattered, and the tears wont seem to stop.
I have watched, through photos over the past months, a baby fighting
to stay alive. I have loved him. I have dreamt of him. I have prepared
in every way to have him enter in our family. We have been blessed with
so much love and support through all of this but I have also been
greeted with doubt and a lack of support on many occasions, and by many
people that I would never have thought would question me. I have faced
set back after set back with a smile and a broken heart, I have answered
numerous questions, and fielded many hurtful comments, I have tried
to make the best decisions I can make to somewhat protect the child I so
much love, and have cried so many tears for.
I am sad
tonight, I am sad because we are NO WHERE near reaching our goal to
bring him home to our family. I am sad because I feel like I am watching
this child die and will never get the chance to hold him, to kiss him,
and to just let him know that he is loved, by his parents, his sisters,
his brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. HE IS LOVED.
I am in no way giving up on him or giving up bringing him home. but I
personally am done with online fundraisers, with sharing our story, with
laying my heart out to every one. ALL I want is to get him home, to
help him heal, to teach him love and what a family can be.
are going to do everything we can do to get him home. It will take us
time. we know that. We are not wealthy, but we LOVE. we do not have
$50,000 sitting in the bank, but we are working hard. It will take us
some time. Sadly, time that I know he does not have. But we will NOT
ever stop trying to get him here.
Thank you all for your
continued support, I can't even express to you how much we appreciate
every prayer, every thought, all the kind words, and many donations. We
hope that one day we can share his first family photo with you all!"
If you are an adoptive parent, or have been involved in adopting family's story, you know how frustrating it is to just get through to people. To literally beg for ransom money for your child. And all you are met with is cold, heart, stone indifference. I'll be blunt friends. This child is dying. He has a terminal disease for which there is no cure. He might live a couple of more years, or just a couple of more weeks. I don't know what his condition is right now.
But all I know is that he is someone's son. He is someone's precious little creature that is suffering, and whether he is bound for this world for a year, or for a week - he deserves to be given a chance to live it loved and cared for. He deserves to be given medical care, clean bandages, and pain relief.
There are days where I just want to throw my monitor our the window. I have mailed at least 30 bloggy friends. Begging for the to spread the word about Baby N. I have gotten 2 replies. 2 faithful warriors - I bow to you deeply. WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOU, WARRIORS?! Is this child NOT worthy of our attention?! Is HIS life not worth of you just MENTIONING him on your blogs?!Are his pictures too graphic to be shared?
I will be blunt. I am begging you on my knees. Please write about him. Just mention him on your blogs. That's all I am asking for.
anything at all.