Jun 22, 2013

In the waiting room...

A friend of mine and a brother in Christ recently painted a beautiful picture :In the waiting room of unanswered prayer:

"The hurt’s so heavy, but the waiting room’s so full. There’s not a chair in sight. So many needs.
And so you slide down the wall to the floor, and hug your chin to your knees, and the nurse calls another, and someone else takes their seat.
It happens over and over, and you watch as each leaves in laughter."

I have to admit, this could not have been written at a better time, because I have been in this waiting room for sometime now. I have to admit, my friends, my heart's been so heavy lately. Unanswered prayers: one of the biggest conundrums that I have faced. Why not me? Why not answer my prayer? Why not hear my meek little gasps for help? Not for my sake, but for those I am praying for.

It's hard friends. It's so hard to be faithful when I live without a care in a world, but others suffer so. It's hard to pray for a "new day", yet wake up and read another horror post on Facebook. And the hurt is not even mine, the pain isn't mine, and it's not about how I feel. It's hard being faithful and realize fully that I have no control over this. I cannot do anything to fix it.

I know God is faithful, and He does things in His own time. But my heart is breaking. Another friend of mine, wrote an awesome series on prayer:  A Place Called Simplicity. And I cannot help but feel - if it "ME" Lord? Am I not asking earnestly enough? But you know my heart, and you know that this is something I wish most of all. Am I not "good enough" to be granted my prayer with a "yes"? But I will never be, that's why I need you.

I've been praying for a miracle, a cure, a complete an utter miracle - eradication of Epydermolysis Bullosa from the face of this world. This wretched, twisted, wicked thing that crept up in our world, and continues to torture and kill the most vulnerable of all. What I can I do, Father? How will you bless me to be a part of this plan? Why this? Why for them? Its so unfair.

Should you read these words, please speak a prayer on my behalf. Perhaps the Father will hear our voices together. I know there are hundreds praying, no - HOLLERING for mercy! Please grant them mercy. Please grant them rest. Please let this horror be over.

I will continue to pray, continue to beg, continue to let my heart be broken again and again. The answer sometimes is "No.", but it never is "Please stop asking". So I won't, Father.

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