Jan 9, 2012

What God will do with your "I would never"s, Part II

Hello, my friends. Long time no see, I know. But I am back now, and ready to resume my writing. I would like to kick-off the next chapter of my life with a reference to my older post :What God will do with your "I would never"s

To summarize it briefly, before I started reading about African missionaries, my heart has been closed for possibility of actually going to Africa. Most of it was fear. Fear or the unknown world, people, customs. "Anywhere else is fine, God, just not Africa."

But overtime, as I read the stories of other missionaries, and other Christian men and women, who found themselves across the world on the African soil, I felt my heart change. I felt God fill me with yearning to do more. Do be more. Do do something. Start somewhere. Learn something about Him and myself.

Without going into too much detail, I must admit that I have distanced myself from blogging. I will talk about that at some point, but this story is not about that. Few days ago, after reading a book about an orphan, I had an urge to go read the blogs of my bloggy friends. By chance, I came across Linny's post: Could this be the trip for you.

Immediately, I felt a stirring in my heart. Well, what's holding me back? Money? I have the money. Fear? I do not fear anymore. Not having a group to go with? Well - here they are - reaching out their hand. People that you know and love, as if I met them in real life.

I want to go. I want to go. Maybe not in Febuary (too soon), but definitely in June. Still, not trusting myself I began praying. Because whenever I really WANT something, I start thinking that its just me wanting. What's my motivation? Am I seeking glory for myself? To feel good about myself? To have others admire me?

Well, I prayed for a sign. For guidance. This morning, out of the blue, my sister in Christ Kim, by pure chance came across a book. She shares a link with me:

The funny thing, is that we both know the author. We have met him before I was even a Christian, and somehow, this person we met many years ago was in our life. We did not keep contact, but always remembered him. He got up and did something, tired of being a pew-warmer.

I am a pew-warmer, only I don't even bother warming pews. But I have a strong desire to do this, and thus it is decided: I am going to Uganda. Unless the Lord tells me strongly NO, I am going to Uganda. I am so excited, beyond words.

I don't expect the trip to be fun. Honestly, I don't know what to expect. I'm letting the Lord to decide what I will be doing - whatever it is, doesn't really matter. He will work the details out.

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