Jan 28, 2012

Really trying time

I don't' really get it,
i was so excited about coming to C4c this year, especially after getting over some reason tough stuff that I dealt with spiritually, and I'm just so not in the game this year. It doesn't help that all 3 of us have picked up some stomach bug, and been feeling weird. I'm just exhausted all the time, I've spent most of the day in bed.
I've had at least 2 breakdown/anxiety attacks, which I did not have since I started taking my new medications a few months ago.

So between feeling like I don't belong, because I think I am the only woman here that has not adopted yet (or haven't even started the process), and being an absolutely dork, when it comes to meeting people - Its been a strange weekend.

It had a lot of good moments too, and
I'm grateful that I came, don't get me wrong. The team, who put this together did and amazing job, and nothing can take away from me, especially not my own little problems.

I'm also grateful that God is patient with me in my self-pity party moments. I guess I was just expecting to be filled spiritually this weekend, instead, I felt more barren that I have in weeks. Maybe I am just truly spiritually starved, and it took a few hundred of "well-fed" Christian women to show it to me.

Oh maybe it's the stomach bug and being naturally awkward about people. I am not sure yet.

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