I forgot that I wanted to share a moment of funny that happened to me at C4C retreat. Well, I should say a moment of painful awkward, but one woman's awkward moment - another woman's hilarity.
So, Dr. Susan, at some point during her talk, asks us to take a minute to say something nice to a person at the table next to you. Keep in mind, that I was sitting at the table with 10 other women that I didn't know. I am a geek, and at parties - I am the one loitering by the snacks alone, pretending I'm too busy, and trying to hide the fact that I cannot join or continue conversations with people.
So, as everyone at my table starts to look around awkwardly (I am guessing other ladies did not feel very comfortable with this either), my inner 4-year old makes me get up, and blurt out to the nice girl next to me "Sorry, I really gotta pee." And run.
Needless to say, that at a later point, when we were asked to partner up with someone for something that lady did not pick me. I don't blame her.
Seriously, if any of you were sitting at the table with me, I do apologize. But when the awkward comes - I want to hide under the table. If I go to a church that liked to do the whole "greet the person next to you" - it takes every ounce of self-control not to hide under my chair/pew/bench.
I am actually a successful professional, who has done many public convention events which required me to demo products, mingle, socialize and meet strangers in various fields. I have no problem speaking publicly (If I know the topic), or even instructing a class.
But when it comes to a more intimate setting - I am lost. I say the most bizarre things, I am so fake that even I can feel it. I think sometimes people are actually frightened of me a little. I am VERY sensitive to the dialogue rhythms, but I keep interrupting people and I cannot stop myself. I try to wedge myself in other people's conversations, just to end up becoming magically invisible to all of the people engaged in it. It is truly weird.