Oct 11, 2010

SCL brings : The guy who tries to fix your problems when you make a prayer request.

Stuff Christians Like bring us "The guy who tries to fix your problems when you make a prayer request."

I love that post, because as I am realizing - I AM that guy! Instead of listening to people, I tend to make suggestions on fixing their problems (and yes, suggesting obvious "solutions".)

I had that happen to me as well, but I recall that once it was kind of helpful. While in group prayer, I have prayed for a resolution with a difficult job (or no job, I don't recall now), and one of the co-prayers (is that even a word?).Although the job was...well, should we say - a valuable learning experience in life. Never take the first job that you see open, always consider why it's so easy to get and why it pays so crappy.

Anyway. Regarding "being that guy", I just gotta make sure to stop doing that. I think "that guy" always means well. I also think that those kind of people are the ones that get infuriated with the victims of terrible tragedies:"Why didn't he do this?! Why don't they just ....!" I don't think that the anger stems from actually being angry at the misfortune, pain or suffering of the "stupid victim that was at fault", but from the feeling of helplessness and desire to right a wrong they did not cause. Getting angry at the victim is their way or "fixing" the picture in their mind, dealing with something that is outside of their control.
So, maybe people who tend to try and help when are not asked, are simply reacting to their feeling of empathy towards the other person, and feeling helpless, they try to project that feeling unto the "victim" of the situation. After all, if the victim would have tried "this" and "that", they wouldn't be in that situation, would they?

It always reminds me of this one thread on one of the gaming forums. I think it started with someone saying something about the movie Schindler's list, and some people didn't see it (being quite young), so after reading the thread they watched it. The reactions were quite extreme, but this one kid (he watched the movie for the first time) was just LIVID at the Jewish people. I recall him making statements like :"I can't believe they were just STANDING there like damn cattle, allowing to be slaughtered, and did nothing? Why didn't they just fight back? Why didn't they just grab a gun from one of the Nazis and killed them all! Stupid, cowards!!" And so on, and so on.
Well, the rest of the people on the thread were responding angrily to the kid, pointing his ignorance of the history, of the suffering, and generally being unsympathetic. The thread was getting VERY heated, but then my husband (I'm so proud of him, he's got such a Heart), just replied to the kid in the thread and said:
"I think I know why you are saying such things. You just watched terrible things happening to people for no reason, and its hard and painful to watch, especially when you realize that there is nothing that we can do about it now. And you are angry that they couldn't protect themselves, and that you can't do anything about it. It shows that you have a beating heart and it aches for these people. "

And the rest of the posters on the board understood that the kid was not angry at the Jewish people. He was in pain, and did not know how to "fix it".And my husband's understanding of this actually calmed everyone else down, and I think also helped the kid deal with this pain. That its OK to hurt when you see someone hurting. Its human.

I dunno, just psychobabble musings. Faith, brain, emotions, and perceptions are a wonderfully tangled mess of "Huh?" in our lives.

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